she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would fuck him just for his dog
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
