NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Green mimosas i think yes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
