If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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