Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
