i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You ruined the universe
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
