I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
