You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
