last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
