I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
