don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This house was built for laser tag.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
