You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
