Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize