no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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