my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she smelled like a LAN party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
