I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
