Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
