I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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