my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
