This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm bleeding and have questions
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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