i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
