i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
