sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
