I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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