woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
