Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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