I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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