I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
