I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
