Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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