handjob tips. give me some.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
