I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
