I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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