yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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