I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
