So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize