I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
