I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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