there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
