Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
