Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
