Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize