How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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