Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
