Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize