Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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