Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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