Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
