They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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