So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
