I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
