An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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