every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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