is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
