eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
