i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
