i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my liver is dry heaving
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
