I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize