is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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