They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
