Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
