upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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