all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
