I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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