Me too!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize