is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
