bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
