Pants 0. Shit 1.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
